CHAPTER PRESIDENT'S NOTE
(Kay Heggestad)

Hang in there.  Only a few more weeks and the holidays will be over.  At our meeting on Dec. 16, we will have a good program on local GLBT history followed by a little snack potluck.  Bring a small quantity of your favorite snacks to share if you would like to.  No one is required to bring anything.

We had a special PFLAG meeting on Dec. 3 and, if time, we will give you some of the highlights of that session during snack time.  One of our goals is to get some members active as speakers and to actually beat the bushes via letters and phone calls seeking out speaking engagements with churches, clubs and other service organizations.  I will be freshly back from a road trip to several chapters in Wisconsin and Minnesota and maybe will bring back some fresh ideas to tell you about.

You have homework for this meeting:
1. Please, in writing, bring in your list of 10 groups we could contact, complete with phone number, address, and a contact name if known.  Especially include places where you are known, such as your church, workplace or other work or social group.
2. Please, in writing, list the 3 most important topics we should be prepared to speak to groups about.  And, if you are really ambitious, also include a short outline of what you think should be covered for each topic.
Thanks in advance for your homework.  See you on the 16th.  Kay Heggestad

Book reports - Now That You Know: What Every Parent Should Know About Homosexuality– by Betty Fairchild and Nancy Hayward

Review by Jane LaFlash

When Chad came out to me in the early 80s and I looked for books to read, I first found books by gay men.  Frankly, these were depressing and scary – bathhouses and getting beat up.  So I was thrilled to find “Now That You Know: What Every Parent Should Know about Homosexuality”, a book by parents, for parents.  And for years this is the book I would recommend as a first book for parents to read.  It was written in 1979 and updated in 1989 and 1998.  I read the 1989 version for this review but the only updates from 1979 were the introduction and bibliography and a new chapter on AIDS.  As far as I can tell, our PFLAG library does not have the 1998 version which, according to Amazon.com reviews, is not any more updated than the 1989 version.

The book has lots of good information for parents:  what it means to be gay, many interviews with parents and children, a wide variety of topics helpful to parents (information about couples, religion, laws), and how to work through this journey from finding out to acceptance.  Amazon.com reviewers said this book “helped me understand my parent’s fears and anxiety and helped me accept myself in a very positive way” and was “enlightening, inspiring, and informative”.

In many ways the book is still useful today.  The thoughts, feelings and emotions of both parents and children probably haven’t changed much.  But in other ways, it is quite outdated.  The authors use the term “sexual preference” throughout.  Statistics on the incidence of homosexuality and discussions on its nature are based on sources over 30 years old.  The information about what various religious denominations are doing on this issue is 30 years old.  Information on laws, media and workplace issues is 30 years old.  All the interviews concern children who came out to their parents in the 60s and 70s.  PFLAG did not exist when this book was written.  There were some POG (Parents of Gays) groups around the country but no national organization.  Even the “updated” bibliography and AIDS chapters are 20 years old.

The national PFLAG website no longer includes this book and at their recent conference no newer books of this type were found.  Hopefully soon someone will write a new book that can be recommended as a first book for parents to read.

Film Notes

As of today, December 7, the film For the Bible Tells Me So is still showing at the Westgate Theater.  A review of this film was printed in a previous newsletter, and it was highly recommended.  The film opened November 30th, and I don’t know how long it will continue to be shown.

 From the National PFLAG Newsletter

Holiday Reading
Looking for something to read over your holiday break?  Check out Parrotfish by Ellen Wittlinger. Follow the life of Grady McNair, a high school student, who -- between Thanksgiving and Christmas -- comes out as transgender.